TEDxKids@Brussels - Alyson Schafer - Here I am again

A must watch! I have recently become obsessed with Ted Talks and came across this video which really made me think about how I approach school and learning with my 6 year old daughter. Also, about my own beliefs and ideas of what it meant to be 'smart'.

To learn more about Alyson Schafer you can visit her here.

Dolls are for Boys and Girls!

Last week, I was having a conversation with an acquaintance who has a son that is a couple of months younger than my sixteen month old. We were talking about the kids and what they where doing. Somehow we started talking about what they were playing and what their favourite toys were, when she tells me that she doesn't let her son play with dolls or with play food. I asked her why, given that all children love to play with both these things and the benefits that they get from playing with them is quite significant.

Her answer just floored me, she told me that she did not want her son to be girly, she said something about not wanting him to turn out...(I cannot repeat what she said). I was in shock. Speechless. I could not believe that I was talking to an educated woman in 2012.

Being a mother of two daughters, I certainly don't know what it is like to raise a son, but I do know what it is like to have to deal with people's/society's/family's belief of what little girls should play with. We have always exposed our girls to all kinds of toys and have allowed them to choose what they like to play with, no toy is girly or boyish. It is just a toy.

This is the same belief we have when choosing toys at BabyThoughts.ca, when I bring in a new toy, my number one criteria is the play value to the child. It is the reason why we do not have a search by gender option, because toys are not gender specific. I do recognize that children will gravitate towards certain toys, but this does not mean that parents should not expose their children to all kinds of toys, from trucks to dollhouses and let them see what they enjoy playing with.

Get your little girl a big Tonka truck and see how she just loves transporting her toys from one place to another in it. As well, if you have a little boy, get them a doll or a stuffed animal and some play food and see how they take care of them, making them special food, taking them for a walk, 'reading' to them and putting them to sleep.

The developmental benefit of imaginative play toys such as cars, play food, and dolls is that it enables children to develop their social and emotional skills. They are able to re-enact real life experiences through play, allowing them a safe place for them to make sense of their world and their day to day life. Click here for a great article on Doll Play and how it teaches valuable life lessons.

What are your thoughts on 'girly/boyish' toys? Does your son love to play with dolls? Does your little girl love her car collection?

Gift Guide - Newborns

I thought I would put together a very simple and easy list of great toy ideas to get the new baby in your life. Though you may think that your newborn does not really play at such a young age, they are in fact absorbing their surroundings and getting to know the new world they live in. This is why it is very important that you stimulate all their senses and promote exploration.

Newborns are only able to see up to 12 inches away and what they see is blurry, they are drawn to faces, as well as high contrast images and colours. They do not have control of their motor skills but at around two months they will begin to discover their hands and begin to grasp objects. Newborns have a great sense of smell, sound and touch.

Given what we know about the world of a newborn, there are great toys that will encourage their development and allow them to learn about their surroundings.

A Mobile is a wonderful first toy, as it is just the right distance for baby to see. It promotes the development of baby's eyes, their ears if they have music, and brain, as baby is makes connections between what they see and hear. A great mobile is the Wimmer Ferguson Infant Stim Mobile, because it has high contrast colour images which newborns find attractive and parents can switch images around to keep their little ones entertained and engaged.

A Play Mat is another great toy for newborns, as it can be used for tummy time which strengthens baby's neck and back muscles. You don't need to get fancy with their play mat and I would not recommend ones that have a build in pillow that is supposed to make tummy time more enjoyable. The best you can do is introduce tummy time as early as possible, for short periods of time, more importantly you want to do it when your baby is alert and engaged. A great play mat is the Wimmer Ferguson Crawl and Discover Mat, as it comes in the all important high contrast colours of black, white and red. It has a mirror which is another of the great toys to get babies and you can attach grasping toys to it for baby to play with.

Music, babies have great hearing and they have been listening to your voice and the noises that make part of your world during their stay in the womb. Whether you play lullabies, nursery rhymes, classical or hip hop, having music around and moving with your baby to the music promotes brain development and bonding. It's also a great stress reliever for parents.

Soft Toys, specially ones with faces on them like stuffed animals are very important. These are great for sensory and emotional development. Two great soft toys are the Whoozit and Tizoo from Manhattan Toy. They each have a face with high contrast colours which are easy for babies to see and they also have great soft grasping toys on the side that baby can practice holding onto.

Grasping Toys, whether they are made out of wood, cloth or safe plastics, grasping toys are essential in promoting both fine and gross motor development. At around two months of age babies will begin to reach out to objects that are held a close distance from them. They will begin to discover their hands and it is important for parents to spend time helping them mastering this new found skill. I would recommend soft grasping at the beginning, as babies are not in complete control of their movements and can hurt themselves with wooden ones. Great options are the Haba Wrist Rattles, they can be attached to baby's wrist if need be or not at all and are very soft and the right size for little hands.

All the toy suggestions I have given are tools that parents and caregivers can use to promote their baby's development, but the most important toy is YOU. Playing, dancing, singing, cuddling, kissing, feeding are the most important things your little one needs.

Let me know if their is a toy your newborn loved. Or perhaps one they did not.

Using Blocks to Teach

I came across this great article from ChildUp.com about how blocks make great tools to teach children about social studies.

I am a huge fan of blocks and we have two sets of different blocks that my 6 year old daughter got when she was about 2 years which she still plays with and is now being used by my 1 year old. I also wrote a post back in October about why I believe that blocks are a must have toy for any child.

The author Angela De Vincenzo a first grade teacher gives tips on how to incorporate blocks into the classroom. These tips can also be used by parents and caregivers.

A great place to start is by visiting places, or buildings that the child or children are studying or are interested in. It could be an important building in your city, like city hall or a sports arena, a fire station, or even a bridge. They can then take pictures or do drawings which they will use to help them when building with the blocks.

As the author writes "These visual images keep the building work focused, realistic and grounded as the children aim to represent what they have seen."

Block building will also encourage social interactions. It will get them to talk about what they are building, to communicate with others what they would like done, as well as to problem solve and to negotiate.

As well, it promotes imaginative play, specially if they have been to the real life building and know more about it. The children will be able to image themselves there and what kinds of things they would do there.

With my 6 year old daughter, she likes to use the blocks to build race tracks, especially after we took her to see the Honda Indy in Toronto last year. She has also used blocks to build houses and buildings that her stuffed animals can live in.

It's also great to provide other materials such as cardboard, plasticine, stickers or fabric that the child can use to add to the block building experience and encourage some creativity on what it could be. They can make furniture out of plasticine or decorate their buildings and make them more to their style. My daughter has added stickers to her blocks because to her stickers make things special.

There is no doubt that the play and teaching possibilities with blocks is quite extensive and so much fun for all. If you are wondering what toy to add to your child's toy collection take a look at all the great blocks available.

Activities to Promote Emotional Development - Babies 6-12 months

A baby's social interaction with the world begins from minute one. Every moment they are engaging with the world around them, they familiarize themselves with the people who are in their lives and begin to express their emotions and interact socially.

Some great activities to do with your baby to promote Self Control and the concept of Self are:

1 -I can feed myself: As soon as your baby has started eating solid food allow them the opportunity to learn to feed themselves. While in their high chair you can give them pieces of food that are safe for them to eat, this is also a great way to promote fine-motor development.

2- Let's get dressed: At around six months, infants will begin to show an interest in what they wear. At this time you can start introducing them to the different articles of clothing that you put on them on a regular basics. They can spend time feeling each garment and you can talk to them and describe what they have in their hands. As well, when you dress them, talk through what you are doing with them, this way they learn that socks go on their feet, the shirt goes over their head and so on.

3- So emotional: Babies use emotions from day one to communicate, mostly it is crying to let us know when they are hungry, tired or wet. As the baby grows they also start to show happiness and excitement when they see something that they find interesting or they like. Parents can teach their babies about the emotions that they are feeling by verbalizing it. Saying something like, "Do you see that dog? I can see that you are excited, let's get closer to see the dog. Do you hear how it barks?".

4-What's my name: By this age a child will begin to recognize their name. It is important for parents to use the baby's name frequently and consistently. Make eye contact when you say their name and see if they respond when you call them.

The keys to promoting emotional development are observation an communication. It is important that parents observe how a child feels in order to be able to use that as an opportunity to teach them about the world around them. Talking to your child is also key, verbalizing what they see, how they feel, and what is happening. This will give them knowledge and understanding about the world around them and of themselves.

Toy Spotlight - Educo Bead Mazes

I don't think you can go to any doctor's office and not see an Educo Bead Maze and if your child is anything like mine, they will run towards them to play.

The Educo bead mazes have won numerous international awards for quality, educational value, safety and innovative design. Bead Mazes are fantastic toys to help with your child's fine-motor skill development, hand-eye coordination, recognition of colour, size, shape, counting, visual tracking, and spacial concepts.

Little hands will love playing with the coloured beads as they slide them up, down, and around the wires. Young children will be entertained just moving the beads along the wires from one end to the next. As they get older, parents can use the beads as teaching tools for learning colours, shapes, counting, and even beginner mathematical concepts such as addition and subtraction.

A great toy to be enjoyed by one or many, and one that will surely be passed down from child to child.

Stop by BabyThoughts.ca to see our collection of Educo Bead Mazes, including the Bear Hug which is 40% off!

Building A Foundation - Your Child's Development from 0 to 2 Months

From their first hour alive, babies begin to learn about the world around them. Our support, attention, awareness, and response, will have a very strong influence on their social, emotional, intellectual, motor, and language development.

One of the most important things you can do for your newborn is to help them feel comfortable in their surroundings. They are just starting to regulate their eating, sleeping, and emotions, that is why finding out what soothes and distresses them is very valuable. Always respond to their cries as this is important for their social and emotional development. It also nurtures trust, confidence, and self-soothing.

Even though we may not realize it, newborns use their body movements, facial expressions and sounds to communicate their feelings. Things like looking away, arching their backs, or frowning when they need to take a break. They will have different cries for when they want to eat, sleep or get a change of diaper. Acknowledging and responding to them will help build a positive sense of self and will encourage them to continue to communicate. (source)

To further develop a newborn's communication skills talk and sing to them. Tell them what you are doing and what they are doing. See if there are sights and sounds they like. Find toys or everyday items with different colours and textures and let them explore. In fact your face and those of loved ones will be what baby will find most fascinating. You can play with them by putting your face close to theirs and letting them look at you and touch you. Play a game of naming the parts of your face they are touching and do the same to them.

The most important thing you can do the first two months is to always respond to your baby, pay attention to what they need and provide them with what that may be. All this will contribute to the foundation for their social, emotional, and language development.

How to Raise a Glass Half-Full Child

I wanted to share with you a newsletter article I received titled 5 Steps to Raising Optimistic Children sent to me by Daniel Dwase from Child-Development-Guide.com. There is no doubt that as parents we want our children to be more optimistic, be able work through difficult situations and find solutions to problems that they will run into. Hopefully these simple steps will not only help them but perhaps help us make some important changes.

5 Steps to Raising Optimistic Children

Why should you want your child to be an optimist? Because, as Dr. Martin Seligman explains: “Pessimism (the opposite of optimism) is an entrenched habit of mind that has sweeping and disastrous consequences: depressed mood, resignation, underachievement and even unexpectedly poor physical health.”

Children with optimistic thinking skills are better able to interpret failure, have a stronger sense of personal mastery and are better able to bounce back when things go wrong in their lives. Because you are a major contributor to the thinking styles of your children’s developing minds, it is important to adhere to the following five steps to ensure healthy mental habits in your children.

Step 1: Learn to think optimistically yourself. What children see and hear indirectly from you as you lead your life and interact with others influences them much more than what you try to ‘teach’ them. You can model optimism for your child by incorporating optimistic mental skills into your own way of thinking. This is not easy and does not occur over night. But with practice, almost everyone can learn to think differently about life’s events.

Step 2: Teach your child that there is a connection between how they think and how they feel. You can do this most easily by saying aloud how your own thoughts about adversity create negative feelings in you.

For example, if you are driving your child to school and a driver cuts you off, verbalize the link between your thoughts and feelings by saying something like “I wonder why I’m feeling so angry; I guess I was saying to myself: ‘Now I’m going to be late because the guy in front of me is going so darn slow. If he is going to drive like that he shouldn’t drive during rush hour. How rude.’”

Step 3: Create a game called ‘thought catching.’ This helps your child learn to identify the thoughts that flit across his or her mind at the times they feel worst. These thoughts, although barely noticeable, greatly affect mood and behavior. For instance, if your child received a poor grade, ask: “When you got your grade, what did you say to yourself?”

Step 4: Teach your child how to evaluate automatic thoughts. This means acknowledging that the things you say to yourself are not necessarily accurate.

For instance, after receiving the poor grade your child may be telling himself he is a failure, he is not as smart as other kids; he will never be able to succeed in school, etc. Many of these self-statements may not be accurate, but they are ‘automatic’ in that situation.

Step 5: Instruct your child on how to generate more accurate explanations (to themselves) when bad things happen and use them to challenge your child’s automatic but inaccurate thoughts. Part of this process involves looking for evidence to the contrary (good grades in the past, success in other life areas, etc).

Another skill to teach your child to help him or her think optimistically is to ‘decatastrophize’ the situation – that is – help your child see that the bad event may not be as bad or will not have the adverse consequences imagined. Few things in life are as devastating as we fear, yet we blow them up in our minds.

You can influence the thinking styles of your children by modeling the principals of optimistic thinking.

Play Essentials

With all the choices parents face as they stroll down the toy aisle, choosing a toy that will not only entertain your child but also stimulate them, and encourage them to explore and learn can be challenging.

This is why I have put together a list of types of toys that will not only be fun to play with, but will also give them the opportunity to develop important life skills. These play essentials include puzzles, stackers, sorters and pretend play toys.

To help start or add to your toy collection, we are having a SALE* on many of our essential toys.

SAVE UP TO 25% OFF ON SELECTED TOYS!

Puzzles

When it comes to toys, puzzles are certainly one of the best for children of all ages. For babies and toddles, puzzles aid in the development of hand-eye coordination and problem solving skills. As a child grows and puzzles become more complex, they help children recognize patterns which are very important for critical thinking. When played with others they are great at teaching all about teamwork, cooperation and communication. No matter the size and difficulty of a puzzle, once completed it will give a child confidence and encourage them to investigate and participate in trial and error activities.

Stackers & Sorters

Stackers and Sorters are great toys to teach children about size, shape and colour. They will also help with their fine motor and cognitive development. You can introduce both sorters and stackers as soon as a child is able to sit by themselves, at this time it is best to introduce them to the different pieces and showing them how it works, and as they get older you can start encouraging them to stack the rings in the right order or to fit the shapes in the right slot. You can also create different games that will teach them about pattern recognition, counting, and promote logical thinking.

Pretend Play

Kitchen play, dolls, doll houses, trains and cars are all great toys for role playing and make believe. Pretend play encourages children to inquire and discover about the world they live in. It supports the development of social & language skills, creativity, and imagination. It is a wonderful way for them to develop emotional skills and learn how to react to a variety of situations that they may encounter in their early childhood years. When played in a group, pretend play will encourage teamwork and communication.


* Sale ends March 1, 2009, while quantities last.

In the News - The Importance of Make-Believe

Recently Susan Linn, a psychologist at Harvard’s Judge Baker Children’s Center was interviewed by USA TODAY about the importance of make-believe play.

The article talked about the benefits playtime at home and the importance of playing as a family. It also gave a number of helpful tips for parents to encourage pretend play at any age.

Article link : Is make-believe vital to kids? You better believe it

Fun With Colour

Springtime surrounds us with beautiful colours, for this reason it is great time to start or expand on your child's knowledge of colour. One great way to do this is to teach them the colours found in their different toys as you play together.

Some great toys that can be used to teach your child all about colours are:

1. The Melissa and Doug Rainbow Stacker with its seven coloured rings for stacking fun.

2. The Large Shapes Jumbo Knob also from Melissa and Doug will not only teach them their colours but their basic shapes as well.

3. The Plan Toys' Lacing Beads is a great toy for older children, they be creative and make a necklace using only red beads or blue beads. This toy really encourages children to use their imagination and creativity.

4. A fun game to play together is the Picco Klecksolino from Selecta. The first person to find all the colours and shout our "klecksolino" is the winner!

If you look around at your child's toys, you will find that many of them can help them learn their colours. Have fun and make a game of it!

Maximum Security: Pacifiers, Security Blankets and Favourite Toy

Many parents struggle with determining when the correct time is to take away their child's pacifier or security object. Certainly we encountered this issue with our daughter and by what the article bellow says, it is not necessary for parents to worry too much.

Pacifiers and Security Blankets
Pediatrics for Parents, March, 2005 by Michael K. Meyerhoff

Many years ago, while my sister was recovering from surgery, I moved in with her family for a couple of weeks so I could look after her young children. One day, after dropping off the two boys at their preschool, I took the 18-month-old girl for a ride around town.

Once we finished errands we drove over to the local library where they had a "Moms and Tots Drop-In Center." I placed little Anna on the floor and watched as she quickly became engrossed in the many toys they had available. I then sat down in a comfortable chair and began perusing the parenting books and magazines displayed on a nearby table.

A few minutes later, the woman supervising the program, whose picture could have been placed next to the definition of "grandmother" in the dictionary, walked over to Anna, yanked the pacifier out of her mouth, and said, "You tell your Daddy that you don't need this anymore!" She turned to me, shoved the pacifier into my hand, and gave me a look that was filled with as much disgust and disdain as her soft, round face could muster.

I resisted the urge to tell her that if she ever again laid a hand on the child without permission, she would be pulling back a bloody stump. Instead, I calmly placed the pacifier back in Anna's mouth and explained, "She might not need it any more, but her mother does."

This story illustrates the two key concerns parents have about their child's use of a pacifier, security blanket, or other such item. At what age does the child's attachment to the object become inappropriate? And why does the child become attached to the object in the first place?

Let's start with the second question. The answer is simple. Pacifiers, security blankets, and other such items are stress reducers. It feels good to suck on the rubber nipple, to rub the soft material across one's cheek, etc., and that good feeling has a wonderfully calming effect. Of course, that spawns a side question. Why does a young child need a stress reducer?

The fact of the matter is that we all need stress reducers in our lives. We tend to think of stress in terms of major problems, such as being under a tight deadline at work, going through a messy divorce, being diagnosed with a serious illness, etc. But life is filled with all sorts of small stress-inducing events and requirements that add up over the course of the day.

Consequently, we all find ways to soothe ourselves. We may find a quiet place to meditate, go for a workout at the gym, imbibe a martini, sneak outside for a cigarette, or pay a visit to our therapist. And at the end of the day, when we need to relax so we can fall asleep, we may watch an entertaining television show, read an interesting book, or spend quality time with our significant other.

Although we tend to envy young children for their "worry-free" lives, that envy may be misplaced. When you are small, the world can be rather intimidating. And when your physical and mental abilities are not fully developed, it is hard to deal with all the easy-for-adults challenges that you are faced with on a daily basis. As a result, while young children don't have to worry about appeasing the boss or paying the mortgage, they do suffer their fair share of stress.

However, their options for reducing stress are not particularly numerous. Since the aforementioned outlets are not available to them, they are relegated to sucking on a pacifier, rubbing a blanket across their cheeks, hugging a stuffed animal, or perhaps engaging in masturbation.

Which brings us to the issue of appropriateness. Not all outlets are considered appropriate, and some can even be unhealthy in the long run. For example, there is no doubt that alcohol and tobacco do the stress-reducing trick, but they also can cause a lot of collateral damage. And public sexual activity, whether masturbatory or participatory, tends to be frowned upon.

While pediatric dentists may have concerns about excessive thumb or pacifier sucking, most of the outlets chosen by young children tend to be reasonably harmless. But are they appropriate? I think most parents and bystanders are alarmed and/or embarrassed by a little one rubbing private parts in public. However, when it comes to pacifiers and security blankets, I don't think there are any universal standards, and the tolerance levels of individuals can vary widely.

Most mothers and fathers tend to be pretty tolerant. particularly if they are busy and stressed themselves. It is much easier to put up with the pacifier or security blanket than to deal with a stressed-out kid. Usually, parents become inclined to do something only when the disgusted gazes and disdainful comments of relatives, friends, and perfect strangers become impossible to avoid and start to make them doubt their performance as parents.

Regrettably, this often results in quick and drastic action involving criticism of the child and/or forced removal of the pacifier or security blanket. The child's attachment to the item then becomes a major "issue" and the source of continuous power struggles. This is not simply unpleasant, it is also unproductive as it generates considerably more stress for everyone.

Therefore, while it may be difficult to put up with the withering stares and searing statements, it is wise for parents to relax and be patient. Of course, they should consider taking steps to help reduce their child's stress levels themselves. Instead of working overtime to ensure that college tuition money will be in the bank, perhaps a little more time with their little one at this time might be a better investment. And instead of spending hours on the Internet planning a future family vacation, perhaps giving the little one a little more immediate attention might be more beneficial.

But parents can not and should not expect that they will be able to eliminate their child's stress entirely. What they can and should do is wait for the child to reach developmental levels where other stress-reducing alternatives become possible, and then encourage the child to pursue those. Keep in mind that things as simple as acknowledging your feelings and talking about them, getting some exercise by riding your bike around the block, reading a fascinating story, or even creating a delightful daydream, is largely beyond the capacity of a two or three-year-old.

Now once these outlets do become developmentally available, there is no guarantee a child will take advantage of them. And some kids remain steadfastly addicted to "infantile" activities throughout the preschool years. Again, this may be difficult to endure, but being too forceful typically does nothing more than make matters worse. So again, parents need to be a bit more patient and wait for another round of developmental progress.

Preschoolers are extremely egocentric. They are largely oblivious to and unconcerned about the attitudes and opinions of their peers. As they emerge from this period, things change, and they become aware of and sensitive to what other kids are thinking and saying about them. Therefore, at this point, attachment to their pacifier or security blanket may no longer be quite so attractive as it now generates more stress than it reduces. Consequently, they become considerably more inspired and inclined to seek out mid accept other more socially acceptable alternatives.

Listening to the tongue-clucking of your mother-in-law may be annoying at best and possibly despair and self-doubt-inducing at worst. On the other hand, noticing that there are no kids sucking pacifiers on the elementary school bus and that security blankets are rarely seen at sleep overs or summer camp should give you the courage and confidence to go easy on your child and yourself and let your child's development solve the problem in proper fashion and in due time.

Michael K. Meyerhoff, Ed.D., is executive director of The Epicenter Inc., "The Education for Parenthood Information Center," a family advisory and advocacy agency located in Lindenhurst, Illinois. His e-mail address is epicntrinc@aol.com.

News & Events at Baby Thoughts

NEWS
We are very happy to have up on the site a new section titled 'Articles'. It will be a place where you can read up on the latest research in early childhood development. Recent articles posted have covered topics on Social-Emotional development, Child Literacy, Speech Development and more.

EVENTS
BabyThoughts.ca will be showing off its stuff at two popular events in Toronto this November.

Our first show will be the annual Mom2Mom Holiday show, this year the show will promote local, ethical and ecologically-responsible products and vendors. There will also be talks and demonstrations by local experts such as Leslie Garret, an award winning journalist, author and editor. She has written many children's books and has a syndicated column called The Virtuous Consumer which is featured monthly in many publications. Another well known speaker will be Erica Ehm founder of the YummyMummy Club.

Highlights of the show include:

-Interactive and kid-friendly activity booths given by not-for-profit agencies and organizations which provide services to families

- Live programs and demonstration performed by local children groups, performances include martial arts, dancing and signing

- Children activities and colouring contests

- Photos with Santa and much much more!

Our second show will be the Children's Trunk Show, taking place at the Distillery District over two days! This year the show will have over 80 vendors showcasing unique products and services by moms for moms.


For both our shows we will be showcasing our best toys, as well as cool new toys that we are bringing in for the holiday season. There will also be a special BabyThoughts.ca giveaway at both shows.

We hope to see you at either of the shows...stop by our table and say hi!