The Game's On - Introducing Board Games

I love family game night, I loved it as a kid and now I love that it is something we have incorporated in our family. We introduced board games to my daughter when she was four years old. We went all out and got Monopoly, Sorry, Mouse Trap, and Scrabble Junior.

Though I love board games, I feel strongly that not all games are created equal. When looking for a game to add to your collection there are some important things to keep in mind. This is specially true when the age range of the players is significant, say parents and their preschoolers. You want to make sure you choose a game that you will both enjoy playing after the 100th time, because unless there are other children who will be available to play the game, it will most likely be the parents who will be the other player. I made the mistake of getting Cherry Orchard for my daughter as a first board game and now I am quite over it to put it mildly.

A good board game will be one that will challenge your child, if it is too easy they will be bored of it quickly. It's fine if you have to modify it so that they are able to play it and enjoy it, this will mean that as their skill level increases the game is still interesting and challenging. A game should promote things like critical thinking, problem solving, basic language or math skills, creativity and imagination.

Games are also great tools to introduce the concept of winning and loosing to your child. At first, expect that they will be upset when they loose and though you don't want to get into an intense competition with your preschooler, it is important that they start understanding that in games there are those who win and those who loose.

As well, games teach young children about following rules, cheating, taking turns, cooperation. All very important life skills that they will certainly need as they go into school. As parents, this is a great time to start introducing certain vocabulary to our children around following rules, cheating and taking turns and its important to help them communicate and understand their feelings about each of them.

The most important thing about a game night is that you spend it together as a family and you can use it as an opportunity to be together and have great conversations with your children.

What are yours and your child(ren)'s favourite board games?

Activities to Promote Emotional Development - Babies 6-12 months

A baby's social interaction with the world begins from minute one. Every moment they are engaging with the world around them, they familiarize themselves with the people who are in their lives and begin to express their emotions and interact socially.

Some great activities to do with your baby to promote Self Control and the concept of Self are:

1 -I can feed myself: As soon as your baby has started eating solid food allow them the opportunity to learn to feed themselves. While in their high chair you can give them pieces of food that are safe for them to eat, this is also a great way to promote fine-motor development.

2- Let's get dressed: At around six months, infants will begin to show an interest in what they wear. At this time you can start introducing them to the different articles of clothing that you put on them on a regular basics. They can spend time feeling each garment and you can talk to them and describe what they have in their hands. As well, when you dress them, talk through what you are doing with them, this way they learn that socks go on their feet, the shirt goes over their head and so on.

3- So emotional: Babies use emotions from day one to communicate, mostly it is crying to let us know when they are hungry, tired or wet. As the baby grows they also start to show happiness and excitement when they see something that they find interesting or they like. Parents can teach their babies about the emotions that they are feeling by verbalizing it. Saying something like, "Do you see that dog? I can see that you are excited, let's get closer to see the dog. Do you hear how it barks?".

4-What's my name: By this age a child will begin to recognize their name. It is important for parents to use the baby's name frequently and consistently. Make eye contact when you say their name and see if they respond when you call them.

The keys to promoting emotional development are observation an communication. It is important that parents observe how a child feels in order to be able to use that as an opportunity to teach them about the world around them. Talking to your child is also key, verbalizing what they see, how they feel, and what is happening. This will give them knowledge and understanding about the world around them and of themselves.

Building A Foundation - Your Child's Development from 0 to 2 Months

From their first hour alive, babies begin to learn about the world around them. Our support, attention, awareness, and response, will have a very strong influence on their social, emotional, intellectual, motor, and language development.

One of the most important things you can do for your newborn is to help them feel comfortable in their surroundings. They are just starting to regulate their eating, sleeping, and emotions, that is why finding out what soothes and distresses them is very valuable. Always respond to their cries as this is important for their social and emotional development. It also nurtures trust, confidence, and self-soothing.

Even though we may not realize it, newborns use their body movements, facial expressions and sounds to communicate their feelings. Things like looking away, arching their backs, or frowning when they need to take a break. They will have different cries for when they want to eat, sleep or get a change of diaper. Acknowledging and responding to them will help build a positive sense of self and will encourage them to continue to communicate. (source)

To further develop a newborn's communication skills talk and sing to them. Tell them what you are doing and what they are doing. See if there are sights and sounds they like. Find toys or everyday items with different colours and textures and let them explore. In fact your face and those of loved ones will be what baby will find most fascinating. You can play with them by putting your face close to theirs and letting them look at you and touch you. Play a game of naming the parts of your face they are touching and do the same to them.

The most important thing you can do the first two months is to always respond to your baby, pay attention to what they need and provide them with what that may be. All this will contribute to the foundation for their social, emotional, and language development.

Everyone's a Critic

I came across the article in the Toronto Star that I wanted to share. I can tell you that I am always worried about being critical with my four year old. I am always praising her and making sure she feels confident in all that she does. She can be easily discouraged and will give up something to never do it again if she feels she does not do it well. For this reason I am always giving her positive feedback, which is certainly good but there will be times when she will need some constructive criticism.

The article discusses 10 ways to give children effective criticism, I find that their first point, about the importance of being brief is one I need to always keep in mind, as I tend to just ramble on and you can just see her completely loose interest and forget what the whole point of the conversation was.

Here is the link: http://www.parentcentral.ca/parent/newsfeatures/momstuff/article/781240--10-ways-to-give-children-effective-criticism


Feel free to share your own tips on giving kids constructive criticism.

Maximum Security: Pacifiers, Security Blankets and Favourite Toy

Many parents struggle with determining when the correct time is to take away their child's pacifier or security object. Certainly we encountered this issue with our daughter and by what the article bellow says, it is not necessary for parents to worry too much.

Pacifiers and Security Blankets
Pediatrics for Parents, March, 2005 by Michael K. Meyerhoff

Many years ago, while my sister was recovering from surgery, I moved in with her family for a couple of weeks so I could look after her young children. One day, after dropping off the two boys at their preschool, I took the 18-month-old girl for a ride around town.

Once we finished errands we drove over to the local library where they had a "Moms and Tots Drop-In Center." I placed little Anna on the floor and watched as she quickly became engrossed in the many toys they had available. I then sat down in a comfortable chair and began perusing the parenting books and magazines displayed on a nearby table.

A few minutes later, the woman supervising the program, whose picture could have been placed next to the definition of "grandmother" in the dictionary, walked over to Anna, yanked the pacifier out of her mouth, and said, "You tell your Daddy that you don't need this anymore!" She turned to me, shoved the pacifier into my hand, and gave me a look that was filled with as much disgust and disdain as her soft, round face could muster.

I resisted the urge to tell her that if she ever again laid a hand on the child without permission, she would be pulling back a bloody stump. Instead, I calmly placed the pacifier back in Anna's mouth and explained, "She might not need it any more, but her mother does."

This story illustrates the two key concerns parents have about their child's use of a pacifier, security blanket, or other such item. At what age does the child's attachment to the object become inappropriate? And why does the child become attached to the object in the first place?

Let's start with the second question. The answer is simple. Pacifiers, security blankets, and other such items are stress reducers. It feels good to suck on the rubber nipple, to rub the soft material across one's cheek, etc., and that good feeling has a wonderfully calming effect. Of course, that spawns a side question. Why does a young child need a stress reducer?

The fact of the matter is that we all need stress reducers in our lives. We tend to think of stress in terms of major problems, such as being under a tight deadline at work, going through a messy divorce, being diagnosed with a serious illness, etc. But life is filled with all sorts of small stress-inducing events and requirements that add up over the course of the day.

Consequently, we all find ways to soothe ourselves. We may find a quiet place to meditate, go for a workout at the gym, imbibe a martini, sneak outside for a cigarette, or pay a visit to our therapist. And at the end of the day, when we need to relax so we can fall asleep, we may watch an entertaining television show, read an interesting book, or spend quality time with our significant other.

Although we tend to envy young children for their "worry-free" lives, that envy may be misplaced. When you are small, the world can be rather intimidating. And when your physical and mental abilities are not fully developed, it is hard to deal with all the easy-for-adults challenges that you are faced with on a daily basis. As a result, while young children don't have to worry about appeasing the boss or paying the mortgage, they do suffer their fair share of stress.

However, their options for reducing stress are not particularly numerous. Since the aforementioned outlets are not available to them, they are relegated to sucking on a pacifier, rubbing a blanket across their cheeks, hugging a stuffed animal, or perhaps engaging in masturbation.

Which brings us to the issue of appropriateness. Not all outlets are considered appropriate, and some can even be unhealthy in the long run. For example, there is no doubt that alcohol and tobacco do the stress-reducing trick, but they also can cause a lot of collateral damage. And public sexual activity, whether masturbatory or participatory, tends to be frowned upon.

While pediatric dentists may have concerns about excessive thumb or pacifier sucking, most of the outlets chosen by young children tend to be reasonably harmless. But are they appropriate? I think most parents and bystanders are alarmed and/or embarrassed by a little one rubbing private parts in public. However, when it comes to pacifiers and security blankets, I don't think there are any universal standards, and the tolerance levels of individuals can vary widely.

Most mothers and fathers tend to be pretty tolerant. particularly if they are busy and stressed themselves. It is much easier to put up with the pacifier or security blanket than to deal with a stressed-out kid. Usually, parents become inclined to do something only when the disgusted gazes and disdainful comments of relatives, friends, and perfect strangers become impossible to avoid and start to make them doubt their performance as parents.

Regrettably, this often results in quick and drastic action involving criticism of the child and/or forced removal of the pacifier or security blanket. The child's attachment to the item then becomes a major "issue" and the source of continuous power struggles. This is not simply unpleasant, it is also unproductive as it generates considerably more stress for everyone.

Therefore, while it may be difficult to put up with the withering stares and searing statements, it is wise for parents to relax and be patient. Of course, they should consider taking steps to help reduce their child's stress levels themselves. Instead of working overtime to ensure that college tuition money will be in the bank, perhaps a little more time with their little one at this time might be a better investment. And instead of spending hours on the Internet planning a future family vacation, perhaps giving the little one a little more immediate attention might be more beneficial.

But parents can not and should not expect that they will be able to eliminate their child's stress entirely. What they can and should do is wait for the child to reach developmental levels where other stress-reducing alternatives become possible, and then encourage the child to pursue those. Keep in mind that things as simple as acknowledging your feelings and talking about them, getting some exercise by riding your bike around the block, reading a fascinating story, or even creating a delightful daydream, is largely beyond the capacity of a two or three-year-old.

Now once these outlets do become developmentally available, there is no guarantee a child will take advantage of them. And some kids remain steadfastly addicted to "infantile" activities throughout the preschool years. Again, this may be difficult to endure, but being too forceful typically does nothing more than make matters worse. So again, parents need to be a bit more patient and wait for another round of developmental progress.

Preschoolers are extremely egocentric. They are largely oblivious to and unconcerned about the attitudes and opinions of their peers. As they emerge from this period, things change, and they become aware of and sensitive to what other kids are thinking and saying about them. Therefore, at this point, attachment to their pacifier or security blanket may no longer be quite so attractive as it now generates more stress than it reduces. Consequently, they become considerably more inspired and inclined to seek out mid accept other more socially acceptable alternatives.

Listening to the tongue-clucking of your mother-in-law may be annoying at best and possibly despair and self-doubt-inducing at worst. On the other hand, noticing that there are no kids sucking pacifiers on the elementary school bus and that security blankets are rarely seen at sleep overs or summer camp should give you the courage and confidence to go easy on your child and yourself and let your child's development solve the problem in proper fashion and in due time.

Michael K. Meyerhoff, Ed.D., is executive director of The Epicenter Inc., "The Education for Parenthood Information Center," a family advisory and advocacy agency located in Lindenhurst, Illinois. His e-mail address is epicntrinc@aol.com.

The Best Forms of Praise

This short article written by parenting educator and coach Michael Grose is about the three types of praise that have the most positive impact on children's behaviour and self-esteem.

Child Praising: Praise With Impact
By Michael Grose

Praising and encouraging kids can be difficult for many people. It just doesn't come naturally. They are hard-wired for criticism rather than praise.

Some children, particularly boys, feel awkward receiving praise unless it is done carefully. It can be misconstrued as being manipulative and not genuine, particularly when it is simply a throw-away line. Praise can become meaningless for some kids unless it is done with a little thought and care.

There are three types of praise that have positive impact on children's (as well as adults') behavior and self-esteem.

1. Descriptive praise

Throw a spotlight on the behaviors that kids do well. Rather than a trite 'well done' draw a word picture of what they did well and let them know its impact. Tell them what you see and how you feel. "Wow. You have tidied the room really well and put everything back where it should be. It's a pleasure to come into the living room." Such comments genuinely made become stored in their bank of skills and builds up their confidence.

Private praise is more effective than public praise for boys as they can become embarrassed being praised in front of their friends or relatives.

Use for: keeping house rules, changing poor behavior (when combined with ignoring some of their poor behavior)

2. Summary praise

Give your child a positive label to live up to by summing up their positive behaviors with one word. "You really worked hard to finish your project. That's what I call persistence." "You cleaned up the kitchen without being told. You are a self-starter." Persistence and self-starter become part of your children's ICRS (Internal Character Reference System).

Use for: kids who lack confidence, kids of all ages but particularly those under 10 as they really use parents as reference points

3. Self-praise

Praise is always bit more powerful when it comes from yourself so allow children to brag a little. "I did that well.", "I am really pleased with the way I did that.", "I did the best I could.", "I love the art I did at school today." Teaching kids to self-praise can be a little tricky but you can start by asking them how they feel about their efforts. When you use descriptive feedback you actually show kids how to self-praise.

Some kids need to be cued regarding self-praise -"Are you pleased with yourself because you tried your best in the game?" Encourage them to say they are pleased with themselves rather than just agree with you. This gets them in the habit of self-praise.

Use for: kids who always want your reassurance, use for children's efforts rather than behavior

There are plenty of people in your child's life who are critical of them – including their peers and maybe siblings. It is a parent's job to tell kids what is right about them, so spend a little time telling kids what you see and feel when they do something well. Make up positive labels that they can add to their Internal Character Reference Systems and encourage them to brag a little when they have done something well.

Michael Grose is a popular parenting educator and parent coach. He is the director of Parentingideas, the author of seven books for parents and a popular presenter who speaks to audiences in Australia, Singapore and the USA. For free courses and resources to help you raise happy kids and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au

The Importance of Self-Esteem

A child's self-esteem is like a flower, and just like a flower it must be nurtured, given nutrients and kept safe in order for it to blossom. It is so important that we as parents ensure that we help our children have a high self-esteem in order to help our children succeed in this very competitive world.

I am very conscious of ensuring that my young daughter has a strong positive self-esteem because I want her to always know that she is someone who is special, loved, and capable of achieving anything she sets her mind to.

The following article written by Cassie Simons, author of 'How to Help You Child Succeed' touches on this issue and I believe provides important information on how we can help our children.

Give Your Child the Gift of Self-Esteem
By Cassie Simons

Much has been said about the "gifted child" but in truth every child is born with unlimited potential. As expressed so well by Orison Marden:

"Deep within man dwell those slumbering powers; powers that would astonish him, that he never dreamed of possessing; forces that would revolutionize his life if aroused and put into action."

This statement can be true for your child. Not just if he's a "gifted child" but any child. Indeed, perhaps we should consider a "gifted child" to be a child whose parents have gifted him with a high self-esteem.

Children with high self-esteem are happier and more successful. Low self-esteem is common in children who are performing badly at school, have behavioural problems and suffer from depression.

The Newborn

The "helpless" newborn baby actually comes into the world well equipped with the power to get what she wants. Not only do her cries bring her parents running to tend to her; she also uses her body and facial language to get what she wants. It's no coincidence that babies learn to smile while they are still very small - it is an essential tool in their armoury of communication. A baby with a disarming smile can frequently wrap mommy or daddy round her little finger!

At this early stage, it's important to respond to all your baby attempts at communication. Attend to her when she cries (this does not preclude training her gently into a stable routine), mirror her attempts at facial communication and reward the infant sounds she makes by praising her and talking back to her.

The "Can-Do" Toddler

Toddlers are into everything! They are learning so fast about the world around them and want to explore everything, touch everything and even try to eat many things.

It is such a crucial stage and one that is stifled by many parents. Yes, you need to control your child's behavior so that he doesn't hurt himself or damage valuable property. But you also need to give him opportunities to express this exploratory behavior without constant criticism and telling-offs.

Put valuables out of reach and supply your child with toys or household items that he can play with safely. Try to find time to get down on the floor and play with your toddler. Let him watch you and imitate you. He could play on the kitchen floor with some pots and wooden spoons while you are cooking.

Discipline

I want to emphasize up front that I believe discipline is very important, because I don't want you to think in any of what follows that I'm advocating spoiling your child. Some parents call this "allowing the child to enjoy the freedom of youth." These parents are entitled, of course, to raise their children however they wish.

But if you want your child to grow into a successful adult, you would do better by teaching her firmly what is and isn't acceptable in present day society. And, just as importantly, helping her to learn self-discipline and that you will support her in achieving anything she wants, as long as she does so ethically.

Discipline should be sensitive, thoughtful and appropriate. You should strive to never lose your temper but to discipline your child calmly and firmly. When is discipline appropriate? When your child's actions (or lack of them) may harm herself or others. When is discipline not appropriate? When it is purely for the parent's own selfish preferences.

Talk to Your Child

Positive talk with your child and generally within the household cannot be over-emphasized. Avoid criticism wherever possible; it is praise that produces good, successful behavior. Be sure to find at least one thing to praise in your child every day. Even better, give praise as often as possible.

Are you having problems finding good behaviors to praise? If so, give your child a task to do that you know he is capable of. Children love earning their parents' approval. Also remember to praise your child for trying, on those occasions that he is not successful.

Set a good example; talk about your goals and successes, and teach your child by example to accept compliments gracefully. Resist the temptation to put yourself down when you are complimented - instead, say a simple Thank You. That's an important sign of a healthy self-esteem.

The other side of the coin to talking is, of course, listening. It is very important to listen to your child. When there is something he is upset about, don't sweep it under the carpet by saying "Don't be silly!" Whatever it is might seem totally trivial to you but often all your child needs is for you to empathise. "I'm sorry you feel sad about that." He may then come up with a solution, or put the incident behind him without further help. Or, you can suggest a solution.

The Power of Desire

You can give your child the best possible schooling, teach all the important techniques of success, encourage goal setting and set a fantastic example. But that is not enough! All these good things have one vitally important pre-requisite. Before you can achieve anything, you must know what you really, really want.

A burning desire is the first, most important and essential step towards any major achievement. As a parent, you are in a unique position to influence another person's desires - your child's. By the time they reach their teens, you will have lost this influence to a significant degree, as young adults are swayed much more by their peers' opinions than their parents'.

So make the most of the early years by instilling positive, beneficial desires in your children. The desire to do well academically could shape your child's further education and career much more than her innate ability.

How can you instill desire? Telling stories is a great way. Children love stories! Be creative and tell stories where the hero or heroine has a burning desire for something, overcomes challenges and set backs, and achieves the desired outcome. Try telling stories where a child achieves academic success, which in turn results in something even more desirable. For instance, one story could tell of a child who has a burning desire to travel to the North Pole. She succeeds academically and thus wins an award, which makes her dream come true. Tailor the stories to your own child's life and experiences as much as you can.

The famous author Napoleon Hill used story-telling to instill in his almost-deaf son both a burning desire to hear, and a firm belief that his disability would actually bestow upon him a great advantage (although at the time even his father had no idea what that advantage could be). By the time this boy left college, he had against the odds acquired a hearing aid that enabled him to hear clearly for the first time in his life. More remarkably, he had justified his father's belief by securing a marketing position with the hearing aid manufacturer to bring the same benefit to millions of other deafened people.

"Gifted child"? Give your child the gift of self-esteem, and you will give him the gift of happiness.

Cassie Simons (cassie@kidsgoals.com) is the author of "How to Help Your Child Succeed", a revolutionary approach to guilt-free parenting. Positive Parenting, Gifted Child - Visit www.KidsGoals.com today for the secrets of raising successful children.

It is just incredible how important a child's early years are for their development. Parents have a great deal of responsibility, it is very important for us to ensure that we watch how we communicate, discipline and act with our young children. This responsibility is something that we must not take lightly as it can have such far-reaching effects.

Consistency, Consistency, Consistency

I have found it extremely important to be as consistent as possible with my daughter. It all began when we were learning to breastfeed those first days, weeks, and months together. Being consistent was also what got us through the difficult time of sleep training, and now as she is entering her toddler years, it is our saving grace.

That is why I wanted to share this article by parenting expert Michael Grose.

Why consistency is important but makes parents feel bad
By Michael Grose

Being consistent when children are less than perfect can make you feel dreadful. However consistency is one of the most important elements in the relationship with your children, but it is the one most frequently overlooked.

Consistency means dealing with the little misbehaviours and not letting them grow into bigger behaviours. It means saying no to children's constant requests for five more minutes of television at night or a third serve of ice cream. It means following through and allowing children to experience a consequence when they misbehave every time. It doesn't mean if children arrive home after dark from a friend's place you ground them sometimes but at other times you just voice your disapproval. That type of inconsistency makes you responsible for children's misbehaviour and teaches children nothing about accountability.

Consistency also means that both parents have a similar approach to behaviours. If mum is too strict and dad is too lenient children will know who to go to if they wish to take advantage. They will soon play one parent off against each other. If a child wants to get away without doing a job or stay an extra hour at a friend's place just ask dad because he is easy-going. Even if you are separated, talk about your approaches to discipline and find some common ground. Agree on such issues as family rules, pocket money, and guidelines for going out and suitable consequences for misbehaviour.

If you disagree with a partner's approach do so behind closed doors. When unplanned situations occur don't be afraid to tell your children that you need to consult with your partner before making a decision. Children will realise that you are working as a team and that you are making a considered approach to their behaviour or request.

Consistency, like routines, are often sacrificed by busy working parents and put in the "too hard basket". When we are tired, stretched and overworked the last thing we want to do is engage in a battle with children over what are sometimes petty issues. You may have spent the whole day dealing with difficult customers or colleagues only to come home and find that you have another battle on your hands with equally belligerent children. So to avoid an argument, a tantrum or tears you give in to your child's unruly behaviour or unreasonable request.

But being consistent and holding your ground is a smart long-term strategy. Kids learn quickly how far they can push a parent before they give in. If you give in occasionally they will learn that if they push you hard enough and long enough you will cave in. So consistency is about being strong and holding your ground. That is hard work because the average child will push parental boundaries about 30per cent of the time and more difficult kids push your boundaries twice that much. It is hard work being consistent but good parenting demands it.

This article was written by popular parenting expert Michael Grose. For great ideas on how to raise kids visit www.parentingideas.com.au

Ensuring that I only speak Spanish to my daughter is one area that I need to be more consistent in. It is a challenge for me and it is something that I am always working hard on, and something that will always be ongoing for me and her.

Mr. Sandmand, where are you?

This article is for all the moms and dads who are experiencing difficulty with sleep and their little ones.

Sleep Solutions
By Ann Douglas

Sleep is the stuff of which dreams are made—especially if you’re a sleep-deprived mom. Here are some tips on troubleshooting some common mom, baby, and toddler sleep problems.

MOM

“My newborn is sleeping, but I’m not. It takes me forever to get back to sleep after each middle-of-the-night feeding—and then it’s time to start all over again!”

What to try:

· Try to lull yourself back to sleep by breathing in and out slowly and deeply; imagining a peaceful and relaxing scene; and repeating the same relaxing word (“relax” or “calm”) over and over again until you fall asleep.

· Get out of bed. If you aren’t asleep within 15 minutes (don’t look at the clock!), move to another room and read until you feel sleepy. Then go back to bed.

· If you continue to have trouble sleeping, talk to your doctor. Caring for a new baby is tough enough without being chronically sleep deprived.

BABY

“My newborn hates to sleep on her back. I know this is the safest sleeping position for her, but neither of us is getting any sleep!”

What to try:

· Swaddle your baby. A study in the September 2002 issue of Pediatrics concluded that newborns protest less about sleeping on their backs if they’re swaddled.

· Watch for symptoms of gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD)—colic, feeding problems, choking, and gagging. Babies with GERD find it very uncomfortable to be placed to sleep on their backs. Your baby’s doctor will be able to suggest ways of easing your baby’s discomfort if your baby has GERD.

“My ten-month-old was sleeping through the night. Now he’s up almost every night.”

What to try:

· Sometimes when babies are trying to learn a new skill, they’ll work on that skill day and night: you’ll find your baby “stuck” standing up in his crib because he doesn’t know how to get down.

· If there has been a big change in baby’s life, he may react by waking in the night. Encouraging an attachment to a small stuffed animal and providing tons of TLC during the day may help to reduce the number of night-time calls for mom.

TODDLER

“My toddler wakes up really early. I’m talking 4:30 a.m.”

What to try:

· Move your toddler’s bedtime back by an hour. Sleep deprived toddlers wake up earlier than toddlers who are getting adequate sleep (which is 14 hours of total daytime and nighttime sleep for most toddlers). Note: You’ll need to shift your toddler’s bedtime back in stages—by 15 minutes at a time over a period of a week or two.

· Learn your toddler’s signs of sleepiness (e.g., talking less, starting to yawn, becoming distracted) and try to get your toddler to bed before she becomes overtired (whining, crying, acting all wound up, becoming frustrated with her toys).

· Encourage your toddler to stick with her daytime naps as long as she needs them. This will help with the quality of her nighttime sleep and, because she will be better rested, this will help with the early-waking problem, too.

Sleep Facts and Stats

· Breastfed newborns may need to be fed a little more often than formula-fed babies, but their moms end up getting roughly the same amount of sleep in each 24 hour period.

· New parents can each expect to miss out on about 400 hours of sleep by the end of baby’s first year.

· A study by the U.S.-based National Sleep Foundation found that majority of toddlers are down to one nap a day by age 18 months (87%), and that only 19% of two year olds are members of the “no nap” club.

Ann Douglas is the author of The Mother of All Baby Books and the newly-published Sleep Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler and Mealtime Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler. Read her articles at www.having-a-baby.com.

I went through hard times with my daughter and did quite a great deal of reading on how to help your child sleep and sleep well through the night. Another place where I looked for help was my mom group and they were able to provide me with ideas and suggestions that I could try. They also suggested a great book for me to read which I have since recommended to many friends, it is called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth.

I have yet to read Ann's book Sleep Solutions as it was just recently published and thankfully I have not had any new sleep problems (knock on wood). I am sure that like all her books it is filled with great information.

If there is one thing that I can say is that it does not come easily and that it is very important to be consistent and for both parents to be involved in the sleep training.

Goodbye Ella

I was doing some research on the Maternity and Parenting Centres in Toronto such as the Ella Centre and Becoming Maternity when I came across the announcement that the Ella Centre will be closing its doors on June 30, 2007.

To say the least I was surprised and sadden by this announcement, the centre is one of the great places in Toronto were parents and parents-to-be can get information and servicest as the Ella Centre from conception and beyond. Founder Amy Harpenny hopes to have the centre re-opened early 2008 and will provide parents with e-newsletters filled with expert advice and support. If you have any questions or concerns regarding the closure you can visit their website.

Becoming Maternity & Parenting Centre also offers a wide selection of classes, workshops, support groups, and counseling programs for parents and expecting parents. They offer classes from Preconception and early pregnancy, Breastfeeding, Fitness and wellness, parenting workshops, Parenting Multiples and Adoption preparation and adjustment workshops.

They also offer many support groups and counseling services for parents, from lactation support, sleep consultants, birth planning, post-partum support, as well as many support programs for parents of adoptive children or those going through the adoption process.

Both these centres were a source for support, information, and socialization. Certainly the Becoming Maternity & Parenting Centre will still provide parents with all the great services, classes, counseling and support that they may need. We also hope to see the Ella Centre return in 2008.

Playing, Singing, Toys and More

I want to share with you one of the great places that I was introduced to after I had my daughter. In the province of Ontario there is a government service called the Ontario Early Years Centres. Each centre offers parents and their children up to age 6 a place were they can take part in some fun activities, obtain information on child development, and meet other parents and children from the neighborhood.

All centres offer different programs but they are all developmental and a great deal of fun. Some programs include, Get Fit with Baby, Sensory Exploration, Mother Goose and the Connecting with Families Drop-in. They even have a toy library were you can take out a toy and bring it back when your little one no longer wants to play with it.

All programs are free but many of them require registration, if you are interested in taking part in one it is best to register as soon as possible.

Links to the Ontario Early Years Centres and other places where parents can look for programs to take part in with their children can be found in the Resources section of BabyThoughts.ca.

Enjoy.
Karla

Should dads get up too?

I'm going to switch gears a bit today and talk about an infamous struggle for new parents; sleepless nights. (If you are about to be a new parent, get ready and read on)

My daughter, who is now 19 months, spent the first 5-6 months of her life sleeping no more than 4 hours at any given time. Don't get me wrong, we were very lucky in that she was an absolutely healthy, happy baby. It's just that she had a constant cycle of sleep, eat, poop, and sleep again. This, of course, meant that my wife spent those first 6 months like a zombie, never being able to get a decent, restful night. I would occasionally chip in on the weekends and help where I could, but since my daughter was breast fed, there were some areas were I was, well, unqualified.

This leads me to a common topic of discussion, which I have had with a couple of other dads-to-be, on the type of involvement that a dad should expect to have during those sleepless nights.

The most obvious conclusion, which is what my wife and I thought before our daughter was born is that there are two main obstacles that will limit how much a dad can help. One is work. The other is breasts.

From a work perspective, we thought that there was no point in me being a zombie too, since I would not be able to perform my "9-to-5" duties. Therefore, I seldom, if ever got up in the middle of a week night to help out. From an anatomical perspective, my daughter was 100% breast fed until she was 6 months old, so there was not much I could do on that front. There was breast milk in a bottle of course, but there is only so much milk a mom can pump.

My perspective on this has changed dramatically after 19 months. If and when baby number 2 comes along I think I would like to do a couple of things differently. First, my job doesn't call for operating heavy machinery or doing dangerous tasks, so next time around I will get up with my wife at least once a night (yes, even during weekdays). Even if you do not feed the baby, as a dad there is a lot you can do, including burping, walking, rocking, and changing diapers (yes your wife is doing all of that too, while you are asleep). Secondly, I would introduce some portion of formula feeding after a couple of months. I would encourage parents to seriously discuss the breast milk versus formula topic before their child is born. For all of the advantages of breast milk (there are many) formula fed babies typically sleep longer and formula feeding gives dad a chance to give mom a break.

If nothing else, getting up will show much needed moral support during this zombie phase (yes, it is a phase and it does end). After you get the hang of it and your baby reaches 4-5 months, I would encourage parents to read a book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". My wife an I are raving fans, since the sleep training discussed in the book helped us get our child to sleep continuously for about 10-12 hours every night!

Hope this helps.
Frank